Bored..

I'm at home on a nice Saturday because I'm feeling lazy asss fuck. Just got back from Baltimore, and I miss it already. It was nice having a break from all the craziness in the city. It was quiet where we stayed at and humid ass fuck! Right when I got there all my worries were gone and I concentrated on living this opportunity to the fucking fullest. It was worth it too. Met new people, places & loved it. Got closer to my cousins and decided to keep in touch with them more often. I didn't realize there was so many places I didn't know about. After A week I started missing the city so damn much. I missed my mom the most. But didn't mean I was enjoying myself, cause I can promise you I was. I got a tan, and if you know me well enough you know how bad i was wanting one. Ride back there was horrrrrible! I sat next two complete strangers for 4 hours to Phoenix. I was sleeping the first hour & I move alot when I sleep. So I ended up slapping the lady to my right. It woke me up & I apologized. She just stared and Said its okay.. ha. I hadda sit next to her for 3 more hours! I couldn't sleep, eat.. nothing! Felt awkward. We got off the plane & hadda catch a plane to the city. Bought something to drink than hopped on. Lucky me, I got to sit next to my cousin & brother. That ride was entertaining. We were taking quizzes on my itouch & I always turned out to be something disturbing. Right when I got to the city I EXPECTED my mom to be there, but no we waited a good 25 minutes for her to pick us up. She sure missed me, ha. Got home and layed on my bed:) Unpacked & had a plate of my moms cooking. Daaaaamn didn't know how much I loved home!! Now back tooo worrrrrk. Blaah. Well Damn i actually wrote this. HA. Thanks for reading losers. LATEEE!

Love of my Life

you make me smile
you make me weak
but without you there is no me
I cant fight this feeling nor will I try
You help me grow so much deeper inside
You may not see it but we're meant to be
Over these haters we gotta beat
You may not see it the way I do
But your just in denial we'll make it thru
Cause im your future nd your mine too
Cant we just put the past behind us because this is the truth
Id give you my everything but my everything is you
You make me smile no matter what it is

We're meant to be and its just you and me..

Free

there will always be some you in me
regaurdless of what happen il let you be free
you gave me everything you could
atleast thats what you made me believe
you opened my heart
you made it relive
but you left in dirt like you just didnt give..
you made me relaize so many things
i cant forget when you said one day you'll give me that ring
i guess that day wont ever happen
but just remember what we had couldve been everlasting
i hope you dont forget me
nor will you ever damn regret me
casue i was best
and dont deny it
i was there regaurdless of what happened
i gave you chances after chances
but you just took it for granted
i hope you miss me
but why should it matter
if all you do is laugh after

Leave [120808]

It hurt when you said you would stay
when all you were doing was playing your little games
i cant even look at you without shedding a tear
you promised me everything but you left me with nothing but a broken heart
i was hoping more from the man who said he was something
i started giving you my all
but you threw it away in just one call
i hope you know how much it hurt
when you walked outta my life
knowing you'll never return..

Dear dad,

I wanna get away from all this pain with a smile on my face. But how can I do such thing when I get weak on my knees and pour out my tears. Fears that you'll let me down once again run through my mind . Life's already Hard without you near.. but I managed to get this far with my head up high playing these fools with my smile.. Why did you do this? Why weren't you thinking of us when you decided to go down this path? Questions in my mind as if I was blind. I forgave. But Forgetting is never. I cant believe you had the heart to hurt me like you did. Its like I never existed. Its like you didn't care if you lost us. Now what do you have? Tell me. You chose the lifestyle you have right now. I close my eyes and I play in my head what you said to me. But I seriously need to just let you be, I cant change who you are or what you did.. All I can do is pray for you to realize I love you and no mistake of yours will ever change that.